I have a sister. She should be an adult by now, but she isn't. As the older sister, I feel responsible to help her for as long as I can. But lately, I don't know how to do just that. She is a coward, because everytime I bring up the issues about her, she chooses to run away and go offline, because that is the easiest thing to do. She does not realize the impact of her actions of looking for the easiest way out on our youngest sister, on our parents, on how her future will be if she continues to be on this pessimistic path. Never mind how it affects me, because I'm all here to help her with all my might.
I understand, being away for studies overseas is tough. I've been there myself. But the experience can turn one into a warrior for life. There is much more to learn than to achieve a passing grade. I can't say that I did all the right things as a student, but I knew I had to preservere. Why? Because I was afraid to disappoint my parents. I didn't care how tough some courses or semesters were, I just knew that I better graduate in time, or else... well, I didn't really have a choice back then. It's not something that I dared to comprehend.
It's a lonely journey. It's not just for the bravest of souls, but I believe that it is for one who chooses believe. Believe in what, you ask? I think that you have to believe in the journey itself. It was ingrained in my head that my destiny would be away in a foreign land, and I guess it was something that I had always believed it, never mind the homesickness and constant depression. When I embarked on the plane to go halfway across the world just to study, little did I knew that I was going to do more than just that.
From what I have observed, my sister might have allowed the loneliness to consume her. It's easy to simply surrender. It is not an easy task to befriend people from a completely different culture, even more so if you are the foreigner. You'll have expectations and stereotypes, and you'll soon find out that they too have the same perspective on you. You are the outcast, like it or not. Nonetheless, like my mom said, no man is an island. Even if you have to make friends for the sake of accomplishing your mission, it's better than being in the dark and feeling like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Is it fake? Most of the time, yes. Is it superficial? Sure. Is it like a business transaction? Sometimes. But that's called breaking the ice. Like they say, some people come into your life just to leave a footprint, some people stay a while, or not. It's just a fact of life. Eventually, you'll have to find ways to comprehend that, deal with it, and get over with it. If you're smart enough, you'll start relationships with no expectations so that you don't get disappointed.
She said, there's no time to make friends in class. She is not doing well in some of her classes and she had tried her best. She said, people goes to class and the class starts. And when the class ends, everyone leaves. Nobody makes friends, she said. Having been a student before, I find that hard to believe. I always try to make friends on the first day itself, so that we have each other's backs. Was I annoying? Maybe. Do I still go home feeling lonely? Yes. It doesn't take away my loneliness, but you'll never know until you try, and try again. I've suggested to her to get to class early and catch somebody. Or stop somebody on the way out of the class. Maybe they are rushing to another class, so how about saying something like, "I have some questions about class, but I'll catch you later!" Jeezz... Is it really that hard? Make the first move, and establish the connection! If you ask my parents, they can tell you that I was a quiet kid. But when you're left to your own defense, you have got to get out of the comfort zone, am I not right? We will only grow from pain, not from comfort.
I don't know. I'm really clueless at the moment because I hate to see my own sister being like this. And it's a downward spiral. If she doesn't learn to be a warrior today and face challenges like and adult, it might be too late to salvage the future. I just want her to learn to be responsible for her own actions, and most importantly, to be responsible for her own happiness instead of pinning the blame on her situation and the society.
I want to be a good sister, even if it means that I have to serve medicine instead of candy once in a while. At this moment, I feel that our relationship has soured and perhaps even irrepairable. We were very close when we grew up, especially in the last few years. I thought we were always on the same page, but I am wrong. I'm not sure how my parents feel, but due to some other recent events not mentioned here that had transpired prior to this, I feel like I don't know my sister anymore, which almost equates to losing a sister.
